All Things New

Snow. 

It's so beautiful. It makes everything clean, white, new. Well, last week, like lots of you, we got it and got it and got some more. Over a foot of snow!

It came in Monday and our first attempt out was Thursday. By that point the daily high was in the single digits so I bundled the kids up and we hit up every drive-thru we could find. 

Snow does make all things new. As does a baby. The newness of the little life, everything they do for the first time, soft skin, cooing, crying and so much more. 

My kids keep me on my toes but it is such a blessing watching them discover things for the first time. Everything from Hannah grabbing her toes to Eli putting a puzzle together. 

Hannah has been doing really well lately. She is reaching and rolling and gabbing away. I find myself getting more anxious about her hearing loss and what that will mean in the future. How will she fit in? Will she be able to follow conversation? Will she feel isolated? All I can do is give those things to the Lord. Please pray for me, I really do want to be the mom she needs to face all these emotions and trials she will go through. 

We did get encouraging news last week. Her lab tests now show no trace of CMV. This means the anti-viral meds she is taking are working. Her counts may go back up after she finishes the medicine but we pray no more damage is done. 

We pray, like snow covering ground, God will make Hannah new. We pray her body has no lasting effects of the virus outside of hearing loss and that she will know the Lord as her savior. 

And the one seated on the throne said: "Look! I am making all things new!" Then he said to me, "Write it down, because these words are reliable and true."

Revelation 21:5

Happy Valentine's Day!

I had an excited little boy leave the house this morning on his way to school for his first valentines party.

Yesterday we made valentines. Eli still cannot help a lot with crafts, but I chose a (semi) easy DIY valentine. 

Tuesday we went to the grocery store and bought all the supplies. 

                                        Oranges!

Then we started assembling...

                                                Ta da!

Eli got really into putting the oranges in bags, then I closed them up and attached the tag. 

Of course, this happened when I wasn't looking...

Fortunately we had 1 extra orange so Eli got to partake. 

So if you need a last minute valentine idea you can find it here.

Sorry to say this was not an Ellie original.

                     Hannah doing what she does best. 

Happy valentine's day everyone!

"Dear friends: 

let us love one another, 

for love comes from God."

1 John 4:7

Not to be Outdone

Last Friday at approximately 4:20pm Eli and I were playing on his new bed when he tripped (either over my leg or all the wadded up covers) and fell face first into the side of the bed and then to the ground. I immediately went to him and he began screaming in pain. I called the dentist who thankfully was still there and is only a short 5 minutes from our house.

Eli fractured his front tooth and took a big gash out of his gum but nothing that won't heal. He just had to get a few x-rays and a brief exam. He was brave. He got rewarded with a popsicle, a prize and an ice pack. 

I think the ice pack was his favorite. He kept it on even after the coldness faded. 

I often wonder how all this stuff with Hannah is effecting him. How it WILL effect him in the future. 

As a mom I don't know why The Lord chose me to be Hannah's mama. Wouldn't someone else be able to deal better with her? Be more financially able to give her all the care she needs? When I really think about it I'm thankful I'm her mama, do I wish she didn't have CMV? Of course! But thankful to be used by God in this way. 

But Eli? He didn't ask for a sister much less a sister with special needs (there, I said it). 

But The Lord did. 

I know this will shape his character, give him patience and love for Hannah that Keith nor I can ever provide. 

We may not see the extent of Gods plan through Hannah's illness until heaven, but what a revelation it will be. 

            She really does love him. 

        And he loves her so much too!

So, maybe bump ups like a busted lip are just what Eli needs (for now) to get some extra TLC from his parents. 

His lip getting better also shows him how The Lord heals. We pray every night for Hannah to be healed. The Lord is over the big and small healings in our life!

"We love because He first loved us." 

1 John 4:19

Making the Most of It: Hannah Update

Thank you everyone for praying for our girl (and us) last week. Hannah did amazing at both doctors appointments. I was told by more than one nurse that she is a sweet little angel, which I totally agree with, but she does seem to be on her best behavior when she's out of the house :). I think she takes after her brother in that regard.

Thursday, she had her sedated hearing test. Even though I had to wake her at 4am to feed her a last meal before the 9am procedure she had a good attitude.

She fell asleep easily but woke up in the middle so they had to put an IV in. It took her a little longer to wake up at the end, but that was the only hiccup. 

      Waiting for the doctor to show up.

When they brought her back to me.     (So sweet).

The results of the test are that Hannah's hearing is the same in her right ear, but her left ear has declined. We will get stronger aids for her in a couple of weeks. I was sad when I heard her hearing is getting worse, but am encouraged that the aids are helping and during speech therapy (and other times) she really is hearing sounds!!

Friday, we loaded up the minivan at 6am and headed to Cincinnati. 

All I can say is WOW about this hospital. We hardly waited at all, the doctor spent more than ample time with us and everyone we came in contact with was great. 

The doctor taught us a lot more about Hannah's MRI, that speech therapy is  most important right now, what exactly "having a small head" means and more little nuggets that are too hard to explain. We felt encouraged when we left and this doctor will follow Hannah. 

As I've said before there are no outward signs (except for her head & hearing aids) that she is (or will be) behind but we want to be proactive with therapy and seeing the best doctors we can find. She actually rolled over yesterday which is huge y'all!

                     At the doctor

           Eli running off some energy 

After Friday's appointment we traveled back to Louisville via southwest Virginia. That's where my g'ma lives and since she hasn't had a chance to meet Hannah yet we wanted to go see her. Yes, southwest VA is really not on the way from Cincinnati, so that meant A LOT of time in the car but our kids did great. We got back home around dinner Saturday night. 

                     4 generations

             This little girl IS ticklish!

Eli & daddy taking a dip in the hotel pool while it snowed outside. What a treat!

It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but filled with good family time. 

"Give thanks to the LORD, 

for he is good. 

His love endures forever. "

Psalm 136:1

Being Present

As I have said before, this virus is evil. At this point in the game there is no way to know how Hannah will develop, what she will/won't do and how long things will take. If I think about all the unknowns for too long they drive me crazy.

I think this can apply to anything in life. There are so many unknowns, aren't there? 

Lately, The Lord has really been impressing on my heart to "be present".  Be present in what's happening today. Today, Hannah's doing what any other 4 month old should do, today she's smiling, laughing, rolling and napping (praise Jesus!) 

I don't want to miss these precious times with my family because I'm worrying about what may happen tomorrow. Of course this is easier said then done most days, but I think The Lord has me on the road to learning more about how He cares for his children and how he really does give us what we need when we need it. 

This week has been an off week for us. No doctors appointments and no PT. Next week, however, they start back. The two biggies are next Thursday and Friday. Thursday Hannah will have a sedated hearing test to see if her hearing loss has gotten worse. This should be a semi-easy procedure, bringing home a sleepy baby. I've been praying from the beginning that her hearing won't decline, just because I don't want anything to get worse, but either way at least we'll know where we are. If it does decline she'll have to get bigger/stronger hearing aids. Friday, we'll travel to Cincinnati for a 2nd opinion with a neurologist. This doctor is highly recommended. We pray he can point us in the right direction. 

Since I'm on the topic of "being present" I wanted to share some Eli-isms and things I hope I never forget. 

The day friends arrived at our house and Eli ran over to Hannah (who was lying on the playmat) and whispered "friends, friends are here, Hannah!"

Eli calls the living room "the room room" (I kinda don't want to correct that)

Eli calls Hannah, Banana. 

The look of sadness on Eli's face when the audiologist stuck something in Hannah's ear & it made her cry. 

Eli now requests we sing "jingle bells" & "silent night" before bed. I wonder if I will still be singing it in July?

Eli's favorite cereals are flakes and O's. 

Lord, thank you for my children. They truly are a gift from you!

God is our refuge and strength,

 A very present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

Christmas 2014

Like everyone else it's hard to believe Christmas is over. The holidays have come to a close, kids go back to school this week and Keith's work ramps up again. That also means Hannah's doctors appointments start again as well as PT. 

Honestly, I'm a little glad to start up appointments again. I did enjoy not having constant things that kept us in the car & in waiting rooms, but these last few days I have started to give into worry a whole lot. Questioning every little thing Hannah does, wondering if it's normal or brain-related. When we see doctors and therapists they seem to keep these worries at bay. 

For the most part Hannah is doing exactly what a soon-to-be 4 month old should be doing.  We are trying to celebrate every little thing, but then worry comes back. The what ifs and the second guessing. 

I know I can't live there. Hannah is who she is. God knows her future, not me. This is something I repeat to myself daily, sometimes hourly. 

Back to Christmas... It was great. Keith's parents came and spent time with us which was a blessing and this is the first time in our married life we've spent Christmas in our home. It was different. As you can imagine I was a little consumed by CMV at times and thinking about what our life was like last Christmas. What would it look like next Christmas? 

I'm so thankful for Hannah. She makes me smile so much and gives me joy. I love that she's in our family, I just hate the virus. 

Here are a few more shots from Christmas. 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:34

We're Okay

Thank you everyone for your outpouring of love, support and prayers. It means so much to us to read your comments and really be carried daily by your prayers. 

We are going through something no one should have to endure. Child-sickness is horrible to hear about, but when it's your child it takes over your whole being.  We wake up and go to sleep thinking about it. And every time we look at sweet Hannah. 

...so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again.   1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

WE HAVE HOPE. We know who goes before us and we long for His return, maybe even more now than ever before. 

So as Hannah's first Christmas approaches we are thankful for all The Lord has given us and the hope of what's to come. It's more than I could have ever imagined and my heart is full even in the midst of hard news. 

              Merry Christmas to all!