A First

I’m writing this to document and to remember. 

Yesterday I had maybe the biggest scare of my life.  When I went in to “release” my kids from their rest time Eli said “Hannah’s sleeping with her eyes open”. Yes, it sounded odd. So, I turned on the light and went over to Hannah. She was unresponsive and was obviously seizing. I quickly lifted Eli off the soiled  bed and told him to get Keith. As I continued to shake her, he dropped the phone and came in and picked her up and said “we’re leaving”. It was at this point that I started crying and couldn’t quite figure out what to do except hold my daughter while Keith got everything together. 

Today she is back to normal. We don’t know how long she was unresponsive but I don’t expect it was long. Eli was beside her the whole time and showed great concern. 

After Keith and Hannah left I melted into a puddle on the floor. Eli immediately knew there was something wrong and told me he was praying for Hannah in his brain. (Oh. My. Heart). Suzi was crying but I don’t think it was out of concern for Hannah. Her little brain couldn’t comprehend the complexity of the situation. 

As we await next steps from the neurologist and check the box of one more thing CMV has added to my dear child’s life, I thank God for his control over my life. I know I really have no say in anything that happens to my children but I’m thankful I have a Father that does and wants good things for them. ❤️

Transition

Yes, it has been a LONG time. The kids have gotten older, time has seemingly gotten shorter and updating the blog went out the window. I so want to remember these days, so I’m forcing myself to make time once again to write.  

Two years have come and gone since Hannah started preschool. Two years ago I was weighing the pros and cons of sending her 30+ minutes away by car to a school for the hearing impaired. Would she learn better here? Will this be a waste of time? Would she be better served at a closer school? So many questions. 

Enter Cara. A sweet, caring, positive, encouraging, “get the job done” kind of person. She loved Hannah from the start, and the feeling was mutual. I never worried about Hannah’s safety, her ability to access sound, if she was making friends, what was going on in her day because Cara updated me. She updated me daily and I trusted her (& and the TAs with Hannah). Hannah was and still is not a girl who can come home and tell me what happened at school, but being with Cara gave me more than a glimpse into her life at school. 

Hannah thrived. She found her rhythm  and kept going.  She was confident, learning her sounds, learning her friends names (& signs), recognizing words written down, and so much more. This classroom helped Hannah learn the way she needed to learn and found the best way to teach her realizing visual learning is her strength. 

So now off to kindergarten? How can this be? Especially after the world turned upside down and she missed the last quarter of school. No, another year of pre-k is not an option, don’t worry I asked. Hannah has to spread her wings and gain a little more independence. 

So here I sit, with Hannah literally laying in my lap, trying to calm down all the emotions that are going on inside me. Tomorrow is her placement meeting. And even though we’ve talked about it and I feel confident about next steps, it means saying goodbye to a teacher who has helped raise Hannah these past two years. Who I have felt comfortable enough with to raise concerns and share wins. I am incredibly grateful for this experience and I guess it helps me to be more hopeful for the future, because of the Lord’s faithfulness over Hannah’s schooling so far. 

So here we go, taking another jump and trusting in the Lord’s goodness, as we hit the water. 

Thank you Cara and Timber Drive for such a great start to school. We will miss you beyond words but we know this next step is needed in order to grow. ❤️

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9